Flirting is not easy, and neither is showing someone you’re into them without seeming creepy and desperate. When it comes to flirting, less is more. Sometimes being too overt, like using a cheesy pick-up line or an obvious ‘not-so-accidental’ touch, can scare people. It’s all in the subtleness, as in just enough to get their imagination going to get them intrigued and to indicate that you’re interested.

Some of us are natural flirters, while for others it takes a little practice (particularly the introverts among us). So, to help you, we’ve put together our best flirting advice and tips… you’re welcome!

It’s all in the eyes.

To be clear, we don’t mean stare at them; it will make them feel very uncomfortable and maintaining too much eye contact is one of the most common flirting sins. So instead, look at them, and then look away a few times to get their attention. Then, when chatting to them, make a (subtle) zig-zag motion from eye to eye and then nose. Finally, glance at their lips every once in a while, but not for too long.

Ask them a question.

Most people love imparting wisdom or giving advice, so don’t be afraid to ask them a question. The more obvious flirt uses the technique to draw attention to themselves. For example, you say you’re thinking of getting a haircut and ask them whether they think long or short hair will suit you best. The subtle flirt asks a question that, while seeming causal, is more directly related to their potential attraction to you.

The ‘subtle flirt.’

When you first meet someone, you need to be conscious of their personal space. Entering their personal space is absolutely a no-go zone. However, you can test how open they are about you coming into their personal space through the ‘subtle flirt’ throughout the night. You can do this by finding an excuse to briefly step into this zone, allowing someone behind you to pass, or grabbing a canape off a tray, for example. You then step back out again. If the person is interested in you, they’ll respond by stepping in closer after you’ve backed off.


Use your eye contact to gain someone’s interest and then slowly smile. This allows you to show them you’ve noticed them, signalling your approachability and building rapport.

It’s all about the language.

Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) uses hypnotic language to influence others, whether to buy something or ask someone out on a date. One of the best techniques is to use ’embedded commands’, which is giving someone a direct command without them noticing by softening it within a sentence. This way, their subconscious picks up on the command, even though they aren’t consciously aware of it. You must drop your voice at the end of the sentence, so it doesn’t come across as a question. For example, if you want to go and get a coffee with them, you could say, “So I asked my friend to take me for coffee, but she’s too busy”.

The ‘electric touch.’

The sexiest touches are the most electric because we’re not expecting them. They’re a turn on because they signal a willingness to break away from the safe boundaries we usually place between ourselves and others. Small, subtle touches that only the two of you notice will do the trick, e.g., let your foot touch theirs or lightly brush past them as you squeeze through a gap. Trust us; this type of touch creates the biggest physical reaction because it sends a subliminal message that you can’t resist touching you right here and now.